i just google imaged poop.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
