apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
