at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
