She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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