did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
