just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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