Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
