the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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