I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
