eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
