i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
