wat bout pragnant strippers??
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Randomize
