He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
