would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
