Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I wish there were birth control emojis
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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