So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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