Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
