i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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