She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We had sex on a dog bed..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Couch. On fire.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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