you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
