spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
