I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
