Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
