Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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