I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
