9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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