He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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