yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
