Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
