I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
