STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize