I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
