the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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