you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
