I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize