You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
