Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
