meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
