Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
