I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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