mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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