I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
