Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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