I think im going to throw up on grandma
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize