used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
