i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
