I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
