East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
