I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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