I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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