Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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