he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
