He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
