Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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