can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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