So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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