I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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