Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
