I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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