Sponge bath it is.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
