I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
