I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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